drunkensherpa.com

Last week I was sent to El Paso on an impromptu business trip. 

One of the best things about business travel are the ‘travel days’ which often involve getting out of work early to make it to the airport… and the airport bar.

This trip was no exception and after getting dropped off at DIA I checked in and headed straight to the concourse.  This trip was a bit strange in that I didn’t know the people I was travelling with, but did know they were a few rungs above me on the corporate ladder, which meant I should exercise some caution before enjoying some beverages.

I had a basic description of one of the guys, and after scanning the place for anyone similar I deemed it safe to sit down.

In the new security scheme of things, my normal route of bringing some single serve bottles of booze on the plane with me was out (Greg and I have debated this point; he’s insistent you can once again take these small bottles on board).

I headed to the bar and ordered a 20oz Sam Adams draft to go with my lunch.  It was good and since I still had plenty of time to kill before the plane departed I ordered up another.

Booze enjoyed so far:

• 2 x 20oz Sam Adams

 With just the slightest hint of a buzz brewing, I popped some gum and headed to the gate.  I was surprised to see a girl I work with, we’ll call her “Rachel”. 

Rachel is a girl who I’ve known for awhile.  We’ve never worked too closely together, but have talked on occasion.  I do believe I once tried to sloppily kiss her hello during a drunken outing to the Stampede a few months back.  Classy. 

Anyway, I was glad to see her for a couple of reasons.  First, the other two guys were significantly older than I am.  Rachel is 24.  Rachel is also a Persian / Mexican mix and is pretty sexy, in a ‘hotness of relativity’ way certainly. 

We boarded and began a thankfully smooth direct flight to El Paso. 

I ordered a Kahlua and Coffee and got down to enjoying it.

Booze enjoyed so far:

• 2 x 20oz Sam Adams
• 1 x Kahlua & Coffee

Much to my chagrin, I was told we were headed straight to the office from the airport for a meeting with one of the IT managers there.  Ugh.  I was sure I’d be able to get down to some sherpa grade drinking instead. 

Texas was hot.  Not unbareably so but certainly “I wish I wasn’t wearing a long sleeved shirt” so. 

After a mercifully short visit to the office we headed to our hotels. 

Since my travel was arranged at the absolute last minute, they weren’t able to book me into the dingy Holiday Inn where everyone else was staying.  Instead, I was put up at a place called Chase Suites.  This would prove to be a blessing in a few ways.

After checking in, I headed quickly to my ‘room’.  I say ‘room’ because it was basically a townhouse.  I could not believe my eyes, literally, on opening the door.  Before me was a huge living room with a fireplace, couch and love seat.  Just ahead was a door into a large bedroom with king sized bed and a bathroom.  To the left, a fully stocked (pots pans, silverware, etc) kitchen with fridge, stove, microwave etc.

The ceilings were soaring to 20ft, all vaulted and there were stairs heading up to the SECOND FLOOR which was a loft where the ‘master bedroom’ was (again, king sized) with it’s own bathroom as well.  It was amazing.  Without a doubt bigger than my own loft in Denver, and certainly the largest hotel room I’ve ever stayed in. 

I didn’t waste too much time in the room because they were having ‘cocktail hour’ in the lobby. 

I’ve definitely experienced the standard ‘cocktail’ hour as seen at a variety of ‘business class’ hotels a few times in my day.  They will typically host beer and wine and occasionally offer a few small snacks as well. 

Once again I was in disbelief at what I saw here.  First, they did in fact have two pitchers of beer available, as well as a couple of bottles of red and white wine to choose from.  But the amazing part was a ‘make your own drink’ section of the bar that was stocked with EVERYTHING.  We’re talking vodka, gin, tequila, whiskey etc and all the mixers you could imagine. 

My eyes almost rolled back in my head, but not before I’d already poured myself a Jim Beam + Soda (nice and strong, natch!) and sat down.  They also had a full cheese plate set out for guests, which I didn’t sample.

I was waiting for the others in my group to come (with the one rental car.. arrrgh!) pick me up for dinner and since they were running behind, I had, ahem ‘a few more’ drinks.

Booze enjoyed so far:

• 1 x Jim Beam + Club Soda
• 4 x Draft Beers (I believe it was Bud Light, but my memory of these events is slightly clouded by the delectable buzz that was washing slowly over me)

My cohorts arrived along with a couple of locals that Rachel knew and we were off.  We went to a mexican restaurant called Carlos & Mickey’s.  It was over the top, mexican decor wise, but the food was truly first rate. 

I did not do well, BFL wise on this trip. 

At Gabe’s (one of the locals) suggestion I tried the mexican rib-eye steak, which was surrounded by great refried beans and spanish rice.  The booze though, oh yes the booze; to start, Margaritas. 

Perhaps a better name would have been MEGAritas.  We’re talking 32oz fishbowls full of top shelf liquor including a Grand Mariner float.  I got to work on mine, taking great pride in the fact that I was far further along than anyone else at the table, including Gabe who must have been like 300lbs.

At this point I was pretty drunk and excused myself to the bathroom. On my return, I continued drinking and realized, to my surprise, everyone else seemed to be far further along with their margs than I was.  They began giving me the biznass about it, and after a few attempted rebuttals (I had FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE cocktails before you piggged me up dammit!) they spilled the beans on their little rouse:  I had FINISHED my first marg before hitting the bathroom, and they promptly replaced it with another, which I was currently sipping.

Damn tricksters.

After a round of Don Julio shots we left.  I retired to my room and fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Booze enjoyed so far:

• 1 x Jim Beam + Club Soda
• 4 x Draft Beers (I believe it was Bud Light, but my memory of these events is slightly clouded by the delectable buzz that was washing slowly over me)
• 2 x 32oz Top Shelf Mararitas
• 1 x Don Julio Shot

WEDNESDAY

The next day ended up being very productive work wise.  Afterwards, we went to The Stateline with a huge group of people from the office. 

The Stateline is, as the name implies, on the border between New Mexico and Texas.  On our way there, we looked out into Juarez Mexico which El Paso shares a border with.  Juarez has one of the largest flags (Mexican flag, natch) I’ve ever seen in my life flying over the city.  This thing must literally be like 100 feet long by 50 feet tall. 

The Stateline is a BBQ restaurant.  When we arrived, we sat outside on the patio awaiting the rest of our party.  I enjoyed a Hornitos Margarita on the rocks.  Most of the group were drinking Patron Margaritas and a few were having beer. 

Once seated at our table and handed a menu (that looked like the old “Big Chief” tablets we used in elementary school) I realized something.  This place was the sister property of a BBQ place here that I used to absolutely love; Countyline BBQ.  I could not believe it.  The menu was identical and I knew immediately it was going to be another BFL be damned days.  Countyline closed about two years ago and I’ve been craving their slow roasted brisket since then. 

I ordered the Turkey breast / BBQ Brisket platter that came with beans, potato salad and coleslaw.  Gawd it was good.

I had a Fat Tire to start, and then some of the guys ordered a pitcher of Shiner Bock.  Why would someone order a pitcher if they didn’t plan on drinking very much?  I don’t know, but they had maybe two glasses worth and I was left to finish the rest.  Burp.

Booze enjoyed so far:

• 1 x Hornitos Margarita
• 1 x Fat Tire draft
• 3 x Shiner Bock draft

The original plan was to head into Juarez after dinner, but everyone else seemed to lose their will once we were in the car, so we came back to the hotels. 

I was left on my own.  I had no booze in the room, and to my HORROR found that the hotel, for all its perks, did not feature in room porno.  WTF?!  I mean seriously, what kind of hotel establishment these days doesn’t recognize the massive revenue potential of adding bored business travellers to easily accessed XXX?  I was dumbfounded. 

I ended up watching a good documentary on Andy Warhol, reading a magazine and finally getting to sleep.

DRUNKEN SHERPA revalation:  Never, ever, EVER travel without booze for the room.  In my personal travel, this is a given.  I didn’t consider the importance of it when travelling for work, but now I sure do.  Gawd. 

THURSDAY

The work day was short due to our needing to leave for the airport at 3PM.  When we got to the concourse, there was a flurry of activity near the windows overlooking the tarmac.  It turns out there was a plane that crashed on the very runway we needed to leave from!  The ENTIRE airport was, naturally, shut down.

The frustrating part for all of us was not knowing how long the delay would be.  For me this meant no booze because I didn’t want to leave the gate if they suddenly opened it up for boarding.

The delay was around an hour and we were finally on our way.

Massive props to Frontier; the pilot announced the cocktails on board were free due to the delay.  Sadly, we were only offered one round during the short flight home.  I had a Heineken. 

I was never so happy to see my freezer full of liquor upon arriving home.  I kissed the bottles hello by having a few rounds before bed. 

Booze enjoyed:

• 1 x Heineken
• 2 x Stoli Vanil and Coke Zero
• 1 x Captain Morgan and Coke Zero